You Sound Like A Douche

Some words are best left to literature, not to verbal conversations.

(for humor, not insult)

You Sound Like A Douche	You Sounds Like A Human
Bespoke	Custom
Bifurcate	Divide
Ephemeral	Temporary
Hyperbole	Exaggeration
Ostensibly	Supposedly
In toto	Totally
Solipsistic	Self-Centered